I fail at resolutions worse than I do at speaking Spanish. In my 24 years of life, I’ve never accomplished a single goal that was set on January 1st. The 50 extra pounds are still there. I still drink wine and complain about my job(s). And no, I still haven’t finished that novel.
New Year’s resolutions make me feel like a failure, which in my opinion defeats the point of having one in the first place. We go into each new year with unrealistic expectations as to how much we can accomplish in 365 days. When we inevitably fail, we assume that means the goal is forever unattainable.
When you add RA or any other debilitating disease to the mix, New Year’s resolutions make you feel even crappier. You begin thinking that if you didn’t have that one flare, or if it had rained less during the year, then you’d be living the dream life right now. Nothing made me feel more hopeless than the idea that my RA was going to prevent me from finding that “thing” that would make me happier.
It’s been a rough few months for me. I’ve been feeling directionless and unmotivated, physically healthier yet no more successful than I was when I was flaring every day. Then by some unplanned glitch in the universe, I stumbled upon the Passion Planner (which you need in your life, just sayin’). In the first part of the planner, you’re asked to use mind maps to jot down all of your goals and dreams. Then you take those smaller goals and build them into your daily schedule.
This was harder than I thought it would be, but the payoff was worth it. I have a better idea of where I want to go in life and how to get there. Instead of broad and generalized goals like “lose 50 pounds” or “become a better writer,” my goals are broken up into multiple moving parts. Each step will bring me closer to accomplishing the bigger goal. No more faulty or generalized New Year’s resolutions.
I didn’t stop with the mind mapping though. I took the maps and put them into list form, that way I’ll have the pleasure of crossing things off as I do them. I don’t want to call it a “bucket list” because I don’t think that’s an accurate name. It’s not a list of things I need to do before I die. Instead, my list contains a bunch of things I want to do that will bring me closer to living the happiest life possible. It’s going to let me explore the things I’m passionate about with greater depth. They are all small things that are leading to the fulfillment of a larger dream. Even if I don’t get through the whole list, I’ll know that I took the steps to being a happier person. That’s a lot less daunting.
RA taught me that sometimes we need to take baby steps. Maybe it should have helped me to realize that the rest of my life works in the same way.
No one expects us to get out of bed in the middle of a flareup and run a marathon, so why do we pressure ourselves into accomplishing a hefty goal in a single year? Slow down, enjoy the journey. Moving slowly towards happiness is better than not moving at all. No one will judge you if your New Year’s resolution is to stop making more resolutions.